episode #48

[robling_t]

***

I go round Jill's in the morning. She answers the door in her dressing-gown; No, I'm all right, I just... Taking some vacation time, you know. You're a mess, she says, laying a palm over my aching cheek.

She won't let me beg off work to stay with her. I think I just want to watch game-shows. She's hiding from herself, we both know it. But if that's what it takes, to remember how to breathe again. Holding on for one day and then another until bruises fade and the students at my office stop laying odds on the next time I'll come in looking like I've got altogether the wrong idea about putting my face where my principles are, which even if it's approximating truth this time is still an odd reputation to be building.

Jason's got his life sorted, as usual. He's been teasing his sister about the ultrasounds: Only one pup? She and David shrug it off. Who's to say what's supposed to be normal, here.

Two changes on, his hair has grown out enough he's started training it into new dreads. He's chosen a more mannered style like his father's this time round, saying it's just as well to update his look now he's concentrating on the business segment of his courses. I can't help but wonder aloud what he'd told Michael, and Jason says simply: "He asked, what did you do, and I said, I screwed up. And that was all we said about it."

It's surprisingly adult of him.

Jill's still not rung to say she's got a new phone sorted. Finally I ring her office. Jill Makepeace, please.

There's a pause, a silence I can feel over the line. Oh, ah... you... haven't heard.